Thursday's Child- Personal Power

There are several different definitions out there of personal power.

The Business Dictionary defines it as: "Influence over others, the source of which resides in the person instead of being vested by the position he or she holds."

And, here are a few others: (thanks to Google Search)

Web definitions, Personal Power:

• Power is a measure of an entity's ability to control the environment around itself, including the behavior of other entities. The term authority is often used for power, perceived as legitimate by the social structure. ...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_power

• That energy which sustains our bodies. It ultimately originates from the Goddess and God (or, rather, the power behind Them). We first absorb it from our biological mothers within the womb and, later, from food, water, the Moon and Sun and other natural objects. ...

magickgarden.freehostia.com/Dictionary.html

• is based on individual characteristics that are acquired with varying degrees of difficulty and at different rates of development. Many performance skills are easily taught and can be rapidly acquired. Personality traits, on the other hand, take time to develop and can be difficult to modify. ...

www.cda-acd.forces.gc.ca/cfli-ilfc/LeadershipConcepts-eng.asp

• Control over the environment used solely as a means of producing personal security. Destructive control over other persons.

www.see.org/garcia/ethgl.htm

• is your power to control you and the environment around you. Most people realize that they are the only ones in control of themselves. While they may let others control them or persuade them to do things from time to time, each of us has control of our person. ...

growandimprove.com/glossary/

• The negotiating and selling power that is derived from you personally. This can be influenced by many factors to include your track record, your bearing, your appearance and your knowledge.

ibbacademy.com/glossaryofterms.htm

By now, you may be wondering why I've included so many definitions of this phrase. I think it's important, as  this is something that most of us within Paganism believe is very important to cultivate. But, I don't know that we all define it the same way. I don't know that we need to do so, either, but I think when having discussions on any subject concerning Paganism, Witchcraft, etc... one should set the expectation of what is meant by any word or catch-phrase so we're all on the same sheet of music.

My favorite is the one by Ly De Angeles in her book, "Witchcraft: Theory and Practice"

"Personal power is a natural growth process that develops as a result of the life you live in the way of the witch. Others will notice you even when you do not desire to be noticed; therefore, personal power is the ability to disappear when you want to and appear when you want to. It is not an egoistical phenomenon! It is an energy (akin to magnetism){16}, a presence about oneself that will require a firm rein for the first few years. It will emanate from your physical body like a field phenomenon. This field is neither a conscious, nor consciously acquired, function, and you are to know and understand this. Posturing and arrogance are its illusory counterparts. Personal power should not be treated as such (that will be the ego seeking to manipulate a natural force and that is both ugly and offensive). 
Personal power is a direct result of accessing the lifescape of magic and of living within its field. If you allow yourself to become glamoured{17} by it, in either yourself or anyone else, you disrupt the web of the worlds and the places of power will withdraw, oh, even just a little, from the access of those who seek to live within their wonder. 

Personal power is an accumulation of awareness, preparation, intent, and your ability to focus, all through the vessel of the self."

Now, that may seem like quite a long and detailed definition of personal power. Perhaps it is, but it is detailed enough to give one a really good sense of what that should or shouldn't mean, should you accept that interpretation and take it as your own. It should also help when defining a personal code of honor. It helps to understand for some of us who have experienced the phenomenon of being noticed when we wanted to be a wallflower.. or those of us for whom watches don't work, street lights go out.. etc...

It also helps one to see their unique yet entangled connection to other living things, and the responsibility we have to be full of care with it.

I know that when I first read this definition, it struck a chord, felt true to me and it became a part of my understanding and knowledge in how to operate as a Witch. I hope it's helped some of you, even if you don't agree with it, in defining what it means to you. 

As always, I'd love to hear from you. Please do send a comment (remember they are moderated, so it may take me a little while to get notification that I need to approve yours), an email, or message me on Facebook. If you have a particular definition you'd like to share, or this hit home for you.. or even if you didn't like it at all.. it's all feedback, and that's invaluable.

Sláinte!

*page 39

16: See the Art of Invisibility, Part Three

17: See Glamouring, Part Three

Thursday's Child- Don't Be Ugly

If you are someone who grew up below the Mason-Dixon line of the United States, you've heard the term, "Don't be ugly." There isn't a southern mother I know who didn't say this to her children. Being ugly didn't have anything to do with your looks; it had everything to do with your behavior, particularly when it came to how you treated others.

If you and your sister were fighting, your mother told you both not to be ugly to one another. If you were being unkind to a waiter, you were told in an overly nice tone (because we southerners do not air our dirty laundry in public), "Now, don't be ugly," and you can be sure we were severely punished for that public parental embarrassment when we got home. This also applied to using proper table manners, writing thank-you notes to obscure relatives, and generally any behavior thought to be less than genteel.

In today's society, we don't necessarily adhere to Emily Post anymore. If you don't know who she was, then you have proven my point. She wrote columns and books on manners and etiquette, and both me and my peers growing up had to read and understand her. Some of us were even forced into going to classes on this, so when I say this was a thing, it really was. It was a southern culture thing, and a source of pride for every parent who received compliments on their children's behavior.

Yesterday, I encountered some ugliness from an online acquaintance. She shared a meme making fun of white people who don't get  american black culture's inside jokes and codes. When I asked her if she really thought that this was funny, she was shocked that I didn't. She immediately moved to a position of, "Oh, you don't get the joke. That's okay- you're not supposed to."

I was well-aware of the lingo used, as the meaning of the 'code' and the insult being cast on women who share my skin color and culture. If I had posted something like that toward black women, I'd have been immediately called out as a racist, and rightfully so- it was ugly behavior. After discussing it, I moved on. Sometimes, you have no choice but to walk away from people who are toxic, even if they can't or won't see it for themselves.

When you feel the need to put down others in order to feel good about yourself, you're being ugly. When you exclude others with secret codes, language that is meant only for your insider group, when you minimize the culture and intellect of other people, you're being ugly. It doesn't matter what excuse you use, painting lipstick on a pig is a ridiculous and wasted endeavor. I've seen it happen both by whites and blacks, and it's ugly no matter what the the pigment of the lipstick.

Right now, we live in a world where racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and misogyny are rampant. When we see the world through these eyes, it's a very ugly place indeed. We're making it that way through our behavior, and what we tolerate.  In the United States, we're moving into a much more volatile place with Donald Trump as the Republican nominee-apparent. One thing he has accomplished is to expose the deep-seated racism among the adult, white, republican voters in this country. The more we seek hate, the more it will find us.

We can choose differently. We can protest and fight for equality without having to endure repulsive behavior cloaked in the excuses of "otherness". We can fully appreciate each other's culture without insults and derision.

We can choose the power of love and the beauty of unity instead.  They may become our survival tools in the very near future.

Sláinte.


Thursday's Child is a series of articles where the author expresses her opinions on topical matters, whether Witchcraft-related or not. The title is inspired by the poem, and that the author was born on a Thursday.

Thursday's Child: Empowering Women Now?

Throughout the history of human existence, whenever a group of people live together, rules have been established to assist them in peaceful coexistence. It's an integral part of societal living, yet there is also a certain amount of brainwashing that goes with it. Men and women today are continually sent messages as to how they should look, act, and behave in order to gain success, a partner, and happiness. This plays out in our social media every day, and there comes a time when those messages become counter-intuitive to that societal peace.

Case in point:

I ran across this meme the other day from a group called "Empowering Women Now". It's a complete contradiction to that phrase.

Too often in western society, women have this message shoved down their collective throat on a daily basis. We're supposed to want a "fixer-upper", an "unfinished product", someone who is broken and can only be mended through our unconditional love. This is dangerous, not only to women, but to men as well.

 Women are given the message that broken men need them from a young age. How many times have young girls been told that boys who hit them, kick them, pull their hair, tease them, etc.. are just doing it because they like them? Society sets women up to take abuse and see it as something beautiful.

Young men are taught that women are weaker, and that being emotional is something for which they should be ashamed. "You hit like a girl!" "Run away and cry like a little girl!" Making the message clear that little girls are not to be emulated or admired.

To say that a woman is "afraid" to date a man who's a work in progress is outrageous. This is the exact type of message that so many feminists (both male and female) have been trying to overcome for so long.

So, this wild witch is going to empower both sexes right now with some words of hard-earned wisdom.

Young men: 

• No one is responsible for your happiness but you. All human beings are a "work in progress", and you should foster your own intellectual and spiritual curiosity in order to mature and grow. 

• Hitting, kicking, punching, teasing, and/or bullying young girls/women is for cowards. Be willing to express yourself through words. In truth, women have always loved the poets. 

• It's not only okay to cry, it's highly encouraged and a physically/emotionally healthy thing to do.

• Little girls hit and run very well. If you're ever accused of hitting (a baseball, preferably) or running like one, say, "Thank you!"

• As you grow older, if you want a partner in life (male or female), find the things you have in common and do not expect this person to serve you or your needs. He/She should enhance your life, not complete you. You are complete as you stand right now.

Young women: 

• Do not tolerate abuse from anyone. Boys who hit/kick/shove/tease you aren't worthy of your attention. If they can't use their words to talk to you, they aren't ready for someone as amazing as you.

• Being a girl is a wonderful experience- don't allow anyone to tell you differently. You can be strong and sensitive. You can hit a baseball out of the park and run like the wind. You can cry over the death of a butterfly and sing its soul to the Otherworld. If someone thinks that's "silly" or "crazy", he/she isn't worthy of your time.

• All human beings are a "work in progress"- what you really need to know is if his progress is on par with your own. You want a partner, not a project. 

• You are needed- by the world, by your family, by your friends, by society. You're needed to be whole, strong, sassy, or silent as it suits you. But, you are not needed to be someone's doormat, punching bag, scapegoat, or emotional dumping ground. 

• As you grow older, if you want a partner in life (male or female), find the things you have in common and do not believe that you have to fix this person or if you just loved him/her enough, this person would blossom into the guy/gal of your dreams. That's not how this works- it's not how ANY of this works. 

Empowering women now means teaching them not to fall for emotional blackmail, shaming, and worn-out societal memes that tell them to fix someone or support a partner who can't support him/herself. Men and women both need to be empowered to be strong and sensitive; and to continually strive to improve themselves as individuals first, then to find partners who are on the same wavelength. This is how a society is strengthened and improved. This is how we can live in peace.

Thursday's Child: Dismal Days in Autumn

It's a deliciously dim, gray, rainy day here where I live. It's on days like this that I want to curl up in front of a fireplace with a cup of something hot and delectable and stare out into my back yard forest.

Rainy, foggy, and snowy days all tend to give me a safe, blanketed, cocooning kind of feeling. I need those on more than one occasion, perhaps because of my introversion. It's as if the earth is sharing a special secret with me. It's a lot like being in a large family, and finally getting time with mom all to yourself.

How about you? Are you a fan of "dreary" days or do you need sunshine all the time?

Thursday's Child: The Watcher

Of The Wildwood

As Samhain approaches, I'm feeling much more like cocooning and communing with the spirits of the earth and the Otherworld.

I absolutely love the poetry of Ly De Angeles. I highly recommend her book, "The Feast of Flesh and Spirit", where you can find the following poem. It reflects completely where I am at today.

"I am forgotten until you remember me, 
I am the living root; the forever Tree---
I await beneath the senses for the soul who truly listens
with an ear to hear my mystery...
and in the song of such a one I am remembered;
and remembering will set the sacred free
to walk through dreams that can rebuild the ancient trackways,

to awaken memories of fires on the hills,
to call the faidh and the ceoltóirí  to attend me
As I plant the living legends in the places of the deep,
(where the forgotten ones still sleep)
of the forest of profusion of the ever-living Tree.

I am the Watcher of the Gate--I am not found
in any book already written, already printed, already bound
but in the spaces yet to be heard;
in the mystery of the yet-to-be-written word.
Ancient Now. Alive divine.
Prepare a place for me; a face for me.
Deny me not; I am the legend of the Vine.
And I am yours, beloved---you who hear me
And in an act that holds to nothing, we entwine." ~ Ly De Angeles (excerpt: The Watcher)

Thursday's Child: Cultural Appropriation?

Preface:
For those of you who follow my blog regularly, you may remember I started a series called "Thursday's Child" based on the Mother Goose poem (see below). I wanted to explore what it means to "go far" or be a success, as I was born on a Thursday. Now, I want to change up the theme of this, as I prefer to have at least one day where I'm just personally blogging about whatever it is that comes to mind. It'll definitely be eclectic. 

This week, I'm interested in exploring an article I read which, on the surface, seems to be addressing cultural appropriation. I shared it, and my first reaction was, "brava!"

Now that I've had an opportunity to think about it, I'm more interested in delving a little deeper into this subject, as it also applies to others who use the phrase "cultural appropriation" a lot.

Here is the article from 2014:

Dear White People/Queridos Gringos: You Want Our Culture But You Don’t Want Us – Stop Colonizing The Day Of The Dead

As I said, at first blush, this is about standing up against those who see take these cultural celebrations lightly, and particularly, white Americans who seem to want the "fun stuff" but not the people themselves. I have a deep love and respect for my Latino brothers and sisters in the world. I want everyone to have an opportunity to live wherever they want to live, and to pursue their happiness as they see fit (as long as it isn't harming others). But, her article is myopic in nature, and therein lies the rub.

Day of the Dead

Many cultures around the world have celebrated and continue to celebrate their dead/ancestors. You can find this type of commemoration on every continent. For those of us with Northern European ancestry (particularly those of the Celts), we have Samhain, originating at least 2,500 years' ago. The Day of the Dead is a Mexican tradition that goes back at least 3,000 years. Coincidentally, they both happen approximately at the same time of the year- the end of the harvest. Other cultures celebrate their dead at varying times through the calendar.


It behooves me to address the fact that the author specifically states  her roots are in Puerto Rico, which means that she, herself, is taking on a culture that really isn't hers. Her indigenous ancestors would most likely be Taino, and there is no historical evidence of Day of the Dead celebrations there. That's okay. I get it. She wants to identify with her Latin heritage. But, her Latin heritage is a combination of European (Spanish conquest) and indigenous cultures  of an island that is approximately 2,300 miles away from Mexico.

The languages of Puerto Rico and Mexico (Spanish) originate in Latin- a European language. The same people who conquered my ancestors (The Romans) also conquered Spain, which in turn, conquered the Caribbean and what is now known as Latin America.

She brings up the point that Halloween has been taken over by Walmart with plastic, candy, costumes, etc...  and, to a degree, I can agree with that. However, those who celebrate Halloween versus Samhain would say that it's a secular holiday. In reality, it is the remnants of the Catholic Church's attempt to eradicate this celebration and make it a Christian holy day instead; and, this is something my Irish ancestors share in common with the people of Mexico.

Samhain

For those of us who celebrate Samhain, it is not about candy and costumes. It is separate, holy, and revered. Some of us participate in Halloween as well. But, so do many in the Latin American community. Things like carving pumpkins come directly from my Celtic heritage where my ancestors carved turnips to light the way for the spirits crossing through the veil, or that costumes are remnants of dressing up to fool the god of the wild hunt. I'm not complaining that anyone who isn't of Celtic origin stole the culture of my ancestors. You can't really talk about separation of culture, and then lump my Irish ancestors, who were slaves in both the Caribbean and the Americas, with the conquistadors.

Here in America, we speak of a melting pot of culture, art, music, food, and holiday celebrations.  If we're going to start separating these out to only those who can prove ancestry in this fashion, well, the author then has to let go of her Dia de Los Muertos celebrations as well, because Puerto Ricans and Mexicans share only their conqueror's ancestry in common.

I have a suggestion for all of us. Try focusing on your own spirituality and honoring your ancestors in whatever way you see fit. Given that so many of us have mixed ancestry, I don't think our loving dead really care that much. Somehow, I think they'd just like to be remembered.

Sláinte! (to your good health)

"Monday's child is fair of face..."
by Mother Goose
Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for its living;
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

Thursday's Child: Full Moon in Virgo

Thinkstock photo

It's a Full "Storm" Moon on a Thor's Day, and there's a winter storm named "Thor" coming through. I'm taking a break from my usual Thursday's Child series to simply talk about the Full Moon and the Witchy things that some of us do on the Full Moon.

Generally speaking, those of us who utilize the moon's cycles for spiritual growth and connection tend to set our intentions for the month at the New Moon. This is where we choose what we want to work on and how we want to get there over the month. At the Full Moon two weeks' later, we review where we are and make adjustments accordingly. Those of us who do spell-work also utilize the energy of the full moon for certain intentions.

Tonight's moon is tiny. “At 2:33 a.m. EST, the moon stands 252,516 miles (406,384 kilometers) from Earth’s center,” Astronomy.com says. “This makes tonight’s full moon the smallest of 2015.”
According to Earthsky.org, this is called a "mini" or "micro" moon, about 30,000 miles farther away from Earth than September's Harvest moon in 2015. It may be tiny, but it's still packed with energy.

Here are some links to peruse if you're interested in learning more about the magic of this moon.

Full Moon in Virgo: Head vs. Heart Tug-of-War

Virgo Full Moon: The Editor

Full Moon March 2015

When the moon is in Virgo (and it goes void at 1:33pm EST today, then stays that way for the rest of the evening), it's a good time to do work on employment, intellectual, and health/fitness concerns.

Whatever you choose to do, connect and enjoy!

Sláinte!

Thursday's Child: What Happens When You Aren't Feeling It?

Today, I'm not feeling it. I don't have that 'get-up-and-go', and that mountain I'm suppose to move? I think it looks just fine where it is. Those places to go and people to see? They can do just fine over there without me. I'd like nothing better than to just crawl back into bed. So much for being a Thursday's Child, huh?

In times like these, I have a couple of choices.  I can go back to bed and just ignore the rest of the world. Even if I know that my income is dependent upon me being at work (say, an hourly wage worker), I still have the choice. I could weigh out the cost versus benefits to not going in and make a decision from there. Or, I can choose to push on through, despite feeling this way. The one thing I'm not going to do is to beat myself up for the way I feel. I used to push a guilt-trip on myself when I wanted to slack off or hide out.It stems from childhood.

My mother wasn't someone who held too much stock in letting us stay home sick or because we just weren't feeling school that day. She was the person who believed that if you were truly sick, you'd have a fever of 101.3 or higher, be close to death and in need of hospitalization.

I was conditioned to make myself feel bad if I didn't overachieve every day. Even when I was a stay-at-home mom with 6 kids under the age of 12, you could eat off my floors. Five loads of laundry every day, even when I sprained my ankle during a Kenpo belt test (I hopped a lot). I was Head of Neighborhood Watch for the Navy Housing Association, Parliamentarian for both the PTA board and the Housing board, and President of the Foodbank. 6 days a week at Kenpo, and my kids all were doing well in school. I felt like a failure most of the time.

I learned the hard way that success isn't measured on a moment, nor is it calculated by how much activity or work you do. It is how you feel about yourself and your relationship with the life you design. If I'm not feeling it, it won't matter how much I do, I won't be achieving anything but frustration and low self-esteem.

So, I'm taking it slowly today. I'm nurturing me. I have tasks that need completing, but they'll get done, even if not exactly in the time-frame my boss or even I wanted, initially. My experience, my life, my well-being.. those are what's most important. I'm doing life right nowadays. That's what makes me a success.

Beannú na déithe's n'aindhéithe ort !
("The blessings of the gods and the non-gods upon you".)

Thursday's child is a new series of blog posts where I examine what it means "to go far". I hope you'll join me in this exploration each week

Thursday's Child: Perseverance- The Other Side

Last week, I examined what it means to persevere. If you missed it, here is the link

My friend and fellow writer for Imramma, Michele Warch is assisting me in addressing the flip side of that coin (Thank you, Michele!!). In other words, what happens if you get to the point where you really need to quit? This isn't growing corn for you. You feel as if you're beating your head against a brick wall, and you are not, I repeat, NOT having fun. Is it still time to persevere.. to push through?

Michele shares her perspective:

Americans are brought up in a culture that says, “GO. DO. Anything is possible. The sky’s the limit.” The reverse connotation of these beliefs, of course, is: If you fail, it’s your own damned fault. You didn’t try hard enough. You don’t have what it takes. You ARE a failure.

Perseverance is a vitally important skill. There’s no argument to that. However, the wisdom to recognize when something is not beneficial for us is equally valuable. How many times have you trudged through to the end of a project which had become meaningless to you because you just had to FINISH it? The only joy you feel is half-hearted relief that it’s finally over. Or, worse, have you ever doggedly run toward a goal, knowing that it would create a revolutionary change in your life to have the anticlimactic ending fall flat?

I would argue that a bit of sage consideration could illuminate these situations. Being a culture of doers, we are whole-heartedly behind the planning and action process. What we neglect is the pre-planning – the pre-contemplation and contemplation stages of change. 

It is in this time that we ask ourselves the following questions:

1.       What do I hope to solve by following this course of action? What’s the goal?

2.       What likely benefits AND consequences will occur if I do this?

3.       What is likely to really be accomplished? Is that the same as my goal?

4.       What is my motivation? Why do I want to do this? What do I hope to receive from it?

5.       How likely am I to succeed/fail? What is likely to get in my way?

6.       Who else will be affected? How?

And, the evaluation process doesn’t end when the action process begins. KEEP asking yourself these questions, along with:

1.       Is this process healthy for me? Am I benefitting from it?

2.       Who else is impacted? How? Am I causing benefit to them? Injury?

If the answers to these questions do not make you feel good about what you’re doing, it may be time to consider a different path. You are NOT a failure if you abandon a failing path. You are a sage.

Michele L. Warch, MCC, is a priestess in a goddess-oriented path, a teacher, writer, blogger, gardener, grandmother, metaphysical practitioner, oneirocritic, ecofeminist, and occasional unicorn. She lives in the Mid-Atlantic region of the USA where she is employed in adult education after 20+ years in the social work field.

Blogs:

The Witch’s Way

The Renaissance Woman

Thursday's Child: Perseverance

In today's segment, I'm looking at perseverance and what it means in relation to "going far.

First, the definition- Perseverance: steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. "his perseverance with the technique illustrates his single-mindedness,"

I believe this is one of the keys to triumph in anything I do. How many of us just persevered through Mercury Retrograde? It's not just going through an ordeal, it's about pushing when  you feel like throwing your hands up in the air and saying, "forget it!" It's putting your courage to the sticking place and refusing to let any obstacle get in the way of what you are going to do. There's an inborn stubbornness to those who persevere. They just won't be stopped.

For those who want to achieve success, the bigger question may be "how do I persevere?"

First, it's important to know what you want. I hate the terms "goal" and "goal-setting." I think they were worn-out in the business world about 10 years ago. As someone who's developed training programs for corporations, I am burned-out on buzzwords. Synonyms would be intention, target, purpose, or plan- choose whichever one resonates with you, but the point is that you really have to want it. The Universe (gods/goddesses, your inborn nature, however you connect) will test you on that, so you be sure you are passionate about what you want. It's what will help sustain you when the obstacles appear.

Next, get rid of self-doubt. This is more difficult for women than men. We're taught from a young age to doubt ourselves and defer to others. A strong, confident woman is more likely to be seen as "bitchy", where a strong, confident man is seen as a leader. Regardless of your gender, skin color, spiritual beliefs, challenges, etc... you get to choose how you see yourself.You also get to choose your purpose in life. Too many of us have spent too much time trying to figure out the "why am I here?" piece of this. Forget that. Figure out who you want to be, and make that happen. Henry Ford once said, "If you think you can or you can't, you're right".  You are the author of your own story. Write it how you see fit, but please, write it with confidence. 

From there, it's learning the art of  stress management*. Stress is a killer, and I mean that literally. It's been proven to destroy the immune system and lead to a multitude of health problems. It's also a huge time-waster. When stressors arise, ask yourself, "In the grand scheme of things, how big is this issue?" Most times, you'll find that it isn't important at all. This too shall pass.

Perseverance is how species survive in nature. Life finds a way. As Pagans, we look to nature to give us guidance on how to live. Take your cue and find your way through. In the words of Marshall Mathers, "Success is my only option- failure's not."   Hang in there!

What tips do you have for going the distance? I'd love to hear from you.

Beannú na déithe's n'aindhéithe ort !
("The blessings of the gods and the non-gods upon you".)

*I'll be offering a Stress Management course in March for those who are interested. Details will be on the Imramma.com site soon.

Thursday's child is a new series of blog posts where I examine what it means "to go far". I hope you'll join me in this exploration each week

Thursday's Child: Professionalism- What Does It Mean?

This is the week of my birthday (Saturday), but Thursday is the day of the week upon which I was born, so technically, today is the anniversary of my birth. I've always loved Thursday, and as I've stated in previous installments, I'm working through what it means "to go far".

Most of my readers are aware that while I would LOVE to write, and teach spiritual things full-time, the bills need to get paid, so I work in adult learning and development in a corporate environment. I'm currently developing some soft-skills training for my company's contact center, and I'm at the part where I'm going to teach them about professionalism.

The problem I've encountered in my *cough* years of training is that the word "professionalism" has different meanings to different people. Professionalism means "dressing appropriately" to some people; enunciating and using proper grammar, to others; to some it means being responsible. It's an interesting exercise to start off a training by asking others to define it, before I teach them what it generally means in a corporate environment.

What I've observed is that professionalism is strongly tied to courtesies and etiquette, which are determined by the environment in which they are expected.

Many of my friends and colleagues would say that professionalism is something one should innately understand. I disagree. When I go to a foreign country, it behooves me to check out their culture and customs before I go there. It's just a polite thing to do. I don't want to be an offensive visitor. Most people I know don't either.

It makes sense that if I'm planning to speak to an audience on any subject, I'd want to ensure that I know who will be attending and what their motivations might be for coming to listen to me. I don't think I'd be wearing a 3-piece suit to speak to folks on the manufacturing line. They can't relate to me, and I'd come across as being someone who thinks I'm better than them. Conversely, I don't want to speak to c-level executives wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. These examples would be what I'd label as "etiquette".

Professionalism is also about good manners. For example, I am a tarot reader. I see into other people's personal lives and private issues that they don't want others to know. As a professional, I would never share my client's private issues with others. I don't share their email addresses, nor put them on my mailing list or anything that I believe would be inconsiderate or unethical.

The antonym to "professional" is "amateur". There are several definitions, but I specifically refer to "a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity." A professional is someone with experience and skill. This can be someone who is experienced in life, at business, etc... and as such, a professional is someone who should behave in a manner befitting experience and skill. We expect children to have issues with controlling emotions, improper hygiene, etc... but, as those children grow and gain experience, our expectations of them rise.

I've seen professionalism equated with "being classy." There are just some behaviors that professionals will never display. They don't air dirty laundry in public; they don't throw public tantrums; they don't participate in gossip; they aren't lazy; they don't use low-energy words or display low-energy behaviors.

For my generation, people like Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly would be considered professional and classy. In the business world, folks like Bill and Melinda Gates would exemplify professionalism. President Obama is a professional and so is his wife, Michelle. Spiritually, I'd say folks like Wayne Dyer, Ly De Angeles, Deborah Blake, and Marie Forleo are all great examples of professionalism in action.

I believe that someone who wants to go far must make friends with professionalism. How about you? What did I miss? Do you agree or disagree with my definition? What behaviors do you think are critical to success?

I look forward to hearing from you!

Beannú na déithe's n'aindhéithe ort !
("The blessings of the gods and the non-gods upon you".)

Thursday's child is a new series of blog posts where I examine what it means "to go far". I hope you'll join me in this exploration each week

Thursday's Child: There are days...

There are days when I feel like it's nothing but struggle. In my introductory post, I explained that for years, I thought "Thursday's Child has far to go" meant that I'd always have to fight to get anywhere. Sometimes, it's like I'm knee-deep in quicksand and mud, while wearing combat boots with 50 lb weights. It can be wearying, and I want to give up.

I know I'm not alone in this. Everyone feels this way, at times. Somehow, that just isn't comforting. This is about ME, not the nebulous, "rest of the world". I want to wallow in self-pity, hide under the covers, and just let it all fall apart. Wouldn't that be nice? Let someone else be responsible, for once.

No, I know I can't. If I did, I'd just have to clean up the mess and go through it all over again- and, that thought is even more formidable than trudging through the mire. It's not that failure isn't an option. Surrender is what's out of the question. It isn't in my DNA. I have to keep going, because that's who I am. I have people and other creatures depending on me. There's no time for wallowing, here.

So, *deep breath* pick up left foot- put it down;repeat with the right. Eventually, it'll get better. If nothing else, these legs are going to be in seriously good shape when I get out of here. And, isn't mud good for the skin? Hell, rich folks pay big money to bathe in this stuff!

Ok, I can do this...

Beannú na déithe's n'aindhéithe ort
("The blessings of the gods and the non-gods upon you".)

Thursday's child is a series of blog posts where I examine what it means "to go far". I hope you'll join me in this exploration each week.

Thursday's Child: What Is Success?

"Thursday's child has far to go..."

Welcome to the second installment of the Thursday's Child series. Thank you for coming back!
Today, I want to examine the meaning of "success"; Just what does it look like?

The dictionary defines success as:

• the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

"the president had some success in restoring confidence"

synonyms:

favorable outcome, successfulness, successful result, triumph; Hollywood ending "the success of the scheme"

• the attainment of popularity or profit.

"the success of his play"

synonyms:

prosperity, affluence, wealth, riches, opulence "the trappings of success"

• a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity.

"I must make a success of my business"

synonyms:

triumph, bestseller, blockbuster, sellout;

 In western culture, someone is deemed "a success" if he/she attains wealth. Some would add fame here, but that tends to go hand-in-hand with wealth. Some of the wealthiest people may be reclusive, so it isn't always that way, but one can also be famous and not considered a success. Some may achieve infamy as well.

In other cultures, success may look quite different. One is a success if he/she raises respectful children, or is promoted to a middle-management position for a corporation, or has a small business that turns a profit.

On an individual level, success may have nothing to do with money or fame or even promotions at work or in business.

What each of us values most is where we can see our success. If you are happy doing what you do, is that not the achievement of desired aims? Here, in America, we have "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". Happiness is the ultimate goal, no? Then, if that's the case, are we not successful when we have achieved that "aim or purpose"?

Studies have shown that the wealthy are no more or less happy than the rest of us. The adage "money doesn't buy happiness" clearly rings true. So, if we're striving for money because we think that once we achieve a certain power-class or social standing it will make us happy, we are mistaken.

Living for the future is not a means to happiness (and therefore, success). It is in this moment that it can be chosen. Happiness is a choice. It is a state of mind.

Many eastern philosophies teach us that by detaching from the outcome, we are able to attain a state of peace and fulfillment that we cannot actualize if we are constantly working for something that has yet to happen. This doesn't mean you shouldn't work hard for a goal or try to achieve something. It simply means that you ARE a success whenever you choose to be one.

That means right now, in this moment, you can select your mood, your view of life and yourself, and determine to be happy. It isn't easy in the difficult times, but I also maintain that it isn't easy when the road is smooth, either. Aren't a lot of us just waiting for the other shoe to drop? Aren't we feeling a bit dissatisfied when it's all going too well?

Success is simply you determining that life is what you make it, and regardless of what anyone else thinks, you can be successful- every moment of every day.

Beannú na déithe's n'aindhéithe ort !
("The blessings of the gods and the non-gods upon you".)

Thursday's child is a new series of blog posts where I examine what it means "to go far". I hope you'll join me in this exploration each week

Thursday's Child: Introduction

Thursday's child has far to go...

I'm sure you've heard that poem:
Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living;
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

I was born on a Thursday. According to those who've analyzed this poem, Thursday's child will go far in life. Interestingly enough, I grew up believing it meant I would have a long row to hoe. In other words, I'd have to put in a lot of work if I wanted to succeed at anything.  And, that's pretty much been how my life has gone- working hard, struggling, always feeling like I have to overachieve at something or overcome something in life. For much longer than I'd like to admit, there was a part of me that felt "not good enough"; not warranting of accolade or praises- and I was always trying to make up for my existence.

What I've come to grasp is that, no matter what, I am a success. What I do is not so important as who I am. Not everyone in my life is going to agree that I am a person of value. Not everyone who claims to know me actually does. They know me from their own perspectives, their own agendas and their own agreements with themselves. Those who do not know me will judge me harshly. Those who do, will love me for who I am, and not what I achieve or do not achieve to their own ends. And, those who love me deeply will tend to overlook my faults and shortcomings, and may overly praise me for things I've done. In truth, the journey itself is the achievement.

I am not only the sum of my experiences. I am the creation of my choosing. Yes, each of us can say we are the product of our childhood environment, society, culture, et al.. but at some point in life, we must take responsibility for who we are, and who we want to be, and act accordingly.

I am not static. I am a dynamic, continuously changing person. Who I am today is not who I was five years ago, ten years ago, or thirty years ago. I choose to seek opportunities to learn, to grow, to strive toward the goal of becoming the best me possible. I have value to me. And, I am the person whose opinion must matter most, because I am the only one who can possibly truly know me.

I am with me 24/7. There is no escaping from myself. I know every thought I have, every motivation, every dream, every failure. No one can make me feel 'not good enough' but me. I have achieved, I have survived, and I have thrived in my almost 52 years on the planet. By my own standards, I am good enough and then some.

By my own knowledge of who I was, am and strive to be, I am triumphant.

Beannú na déithe's n'aindhéithe ort !
("The blessings of the gods and the non-gods upon you".)

Thursday's child is a new series of blog posts where I examine what it means "to go far". I hope you'll join me in this exploration each week.