Thursday's Child: Empowering Women Now?

Throughout the history of human existence, whenever a group of people live together, rules have been established to assist them in peaceful coexistence. It's an integral part of societal living, yet there is also a certain amount of brainwashing that goes with it. Men and women today are continually sent messages as to how they should look, act, and behave in order to gain success, a partner, and happiness. This plays out in our social media every day, and there comes a time when those messages become counter-intuitive to that societal peace.

Case in point:

I ran across this meme the other day from a group called "Empowering Women Now". It's a complete contradiction to that phrase.

Too often in western society, women have this message shoved down their collective throat on a daily basis. We're supposed to want a "fixer-upper", an "unfinished product", someone who is broken and can only be mended through our unconditional love. This is dangerous, not only to women, but to men as well.

 Women are given the message that broken men need them from a young age. How many times have young girls been told that boys who hit them, kick them, pull their hair, tease them, etc.. are just doing it because they like them? Society sets women up to take abuse and see it as something beautiful.

Young men are taught that women are weaker, and that being emotional is something for which they should be ashamed. "You hit like a girl!" "Run away and cry like a little girl!" Making the message clear that little girls are not to be emulated or admired.

To say that a woman is "afraid" to date a man who's a work in progress is outrageous. This is the exact type of message that so many feminists (both male and female) have been trying to overcome for so long.

So, this wild witch is going to empower both sexes right now with some words of hard-earned wisdom.

Young men: 

• No one is responsible for your happiness but you. All human beings are a "work in progress", and you should foster your own intellectual and spiritual curiosity in order to mature and grow. 

• Hitting, kicking, punching, teasing, and/or bullying young girls/women is for cowards. Be willing to express yourself through words. In truth, women have always loved the poets. 

• It's not only okay to cry, it's highly encouraged and a physically/emotionally healthy thing to do.

• Little girls hit and run very well. If you're ever accused of hitting (a baseball, preferably) or running like one, say, "Thank you!"

• As you grow older, if you want a partner in life (male or female), find the things you have in common and do not expect this person to serve you or your needs. He/She should enhance your life, not complete you. You are complete as you stand right now.

Young women: 

• Do not tolerate abuse from anyone. Boys who hit/kick/shove/tease you aren't worthy of your attention. If they can't use their words to talk to you, they aren't ready for someone as amazing as you.

• Being a girl is a wonderful experience- don't allow anyone to tell you differently. You can be strong and sensitive. You can hit a baseball out of the park and run like the wind. You can cry over the death of a butterfly and sing its soul to the Otherworld. If someone thinks that's "silly" or "crazy", he/she isn't worthy of your time.

• All human beings are a "work in progress"- what you really need to know is if his progress is on par with your own. You want a partner, not a project. 

• You are needed- by the world, by your family, by your friends, by society. You're needed to be whole, strong, sassy, or silent as it suits you. But, you are not needed to be someone's doormat, punching bag, scapegoat, or emotional dumping ground. 

• As you grow older, if you want a partner in life (male or female), find the things you have in common and do not believe that you have to fix this person or if you just loved him/her enough, this person would blossom into the guy/gal of your dreams. That's not how this works- it's not how ANY of this works. 

Empowering women now means teaching them not to fall for emotional blackmail, shaming, and worn-out societal memes that tell them to fix someone or support a partner who can't support him/herself. Men and women both need to be empowered to be strong and sensitive; and to continually strive to improve themselves as individuals first, then to find partners who are on the same wavelength. This is how a society is strengthened and improved. This is how we can live in peace.

Monday Meditation: The Art of Self-Care

We are nearing the end of the first month of our new year, and I'm already learning a lot about this theme of "living artfully." The first lesson has been in the art of self-care, which includes taking care of one's health.

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism this month, after struggling for quite awhile with the symptoms, and chalking it up to "getting older" or "peri-menopause". One of my best friends has Hashimoto's disease (where the body attacks the thyroid, thinking it is a foreign object). She self-diagnosed years ago, and was forced to have to self-medicate due to inaccurate diagnoses from physicians. She and I had discussed the symptoms and I finally came to the conclusion that I may have an underactive thyroid. The unexplained weight gain, feeling tired all of the time, irregular menses, etc... were not simply me getting to a 'certain age', but part of a disease.

I went to the doctor and requested a thyroid panel. I was completely unaware of the impact our thyroid has on our bodies. My blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, weight, iron content, et al.. were all out of whack. No wonder I was feeling so badly. When I shared my labs with my bff, she said, "How are you even walking upright with a TSH of 94?" My doctor immediately ordered a prescription for Nature-throid, and within a week, I was feeling much better. My skyrocketed bp went from 189/120 to 132/80, and my energy levels drastically increased. But, prescription drugs are not my only medicine.

I had to make a dietary change as well. I have to avoid gluten, and eat a high-protein, low-fat, low-carb diet going forward. My food also has to be my medicine.

Another lesson was that I must educate myself on my disease, and not just accept everything that a doctor says as the gospel. Hypothyroidism is under-diagnosed and misunderstood. I've learned from many who have this disease that doctors are grossly undereducated where this is concerned. I got lucky. My doctor is phenomenal. She knew exactly what tests to order, and what to do with me. Most patients go through an average of 2-3 doctors before finding one that is willing to listen and act accordingly.

Self-care also has to address the emotional and spiritual aspects of one's life. Hypothyroidism can cause depression and a feeling of malaise. It is important that I take care of my connections to the earth and to my own emotional well-being.

As I am gaining more energy, I feel more like working out and doing those physical activities which also bring me joy. Artful living is turning out to be a lot of work, but  worth it.

January is Thyroid Awareness Month. I highly recommend that you take a moment to look at the 300 symptoms of hypothyroidism.  If you see yourself in those, get tested immediately. This is a dangerous disease, and people die from it daily. It can also morph into other diseases like lymphoma. It is hereditary, and therefore, my children and grandchildren will need to be on the lookout for its symptoms. After studying up on this, I firmly believe my grandmother had hypothyroidism, but was never diagnosed until it became lymphoma.

Your physical health is critical to your overall well-being. In Paganism, we pride ourselves on personal responsibility. We don't blame our issues on things like "original sin" or a "devil".  We embrace our choices and their consequences, and are admonished to consider those consequences when making choices. I would argue that our health is also part of that personal responsibility. If you aren't feeling well, take action to determine the root cause, and make changes accordingly.

It's something to consider...

Sláinte (to your good health!)

Farewell, Ziggy Goblin King

This morning, I woke up and began to rue the day I put the "Breaking News" app on my phone. The first thing I read this morning at 5am was that David Bowie had died, just two days after his 69th birthday. I haven't been able to shake the "SAD" since. The interwebs are filled with tributes and love, and we all know what we, the world, have lost.

I grew up with David Bowie all over the radio, television, movies, et al.. he expressed himself with his very existence. He was a work of art. His genuine embrace of his own "weirdness" gave so many people permission to do the same. He was brilliant, deep, and from all indications, a truly kind human being. Whatever creative endeavor he shared, we were enthralled with it, and with him.

He was able to reach across generational, political, cultural, and color lines because he blurred all of them with his presence. He was androgynous, beautiful, handsome, shiny, and unique.

On a day like today, we would say that the world is a little dimmer, but in truth, the night sky is filled with his starry presence and in his passing, he shines on brightly.

My favorite quote for today comes from Simon Pegg's twitter account:

"If you are sad today, just remember that the world is over 4 billion years' old, and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie."

Yes, we are all the better for his having been here. I am reminded of the poem by Marianne Williamson in which she says,

 "... and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

That is just one of the many gifts that David Bowie gave us. We will miss our Ziggy Stardust Goblin King Man Who Sold the World, but we also know that he left a legacy and impact that so few of us will ever be able to do, all just by embracing who he was.

May his adventures continue to enthrall and embrace the next world he inhabits.

Monday Meditation: Of Eagles and Crows

I've been feeling a little out of sorts lately, particularly in my spiritual life. It's a sense of restlessness and disconnection that makes me question what it is I truly believe and what path I want to explore, if any. Over the holidays, I've put it on the back burner, not really wanting to deal with that right now, just wanting to clean up from the old year and prepare for the new.

Yesterday, my son and I were taking our dog for a walk, and one of my totems showed up, flying just overhead. My son said, "Mom, is that an eagle?" I absentmindedly replied, "M-hmm", while watching what this eagle was doing. My son said, "What's he doing all the way out here?"  He kept circling over my head in a more-or-less figure-8 pattern for a couple of minutes, and I said, "Being harassed by crows." One, then two, then four, then six crows showed up, tormenting him unmercifully. He eventually flew off, and the crows broke off their forcible escort, but I've been contemplating the meaning of that entire encounter since.

Eagle represents our connection to "Great Spirit" (or God/Goddess/Mystery, your choice of nomenclature gets inserted here).  Crows are not one of my totems, although I love them dearly.  Crow has many different representations, depending on the culture. For some, crow represents universal law. For others, they are either "good or bad" omens. They also represent The Morrigan, and I've had quite a few magical encounters with crows throughout my life.

In nature, crows are very territorial. This particular bunch ( I don't call them a 'murder'- the scientific name is 'flock') already dukes it out each week with the local hawks, who refuse to give up territory as well. Yesterday's encounter was the first time I'd seen an eagle in the area.

What does it all mean? I'm not exactly sure. I have some ideas. Clearly, I am being asked to address this disconnect I feel, and the struggle between the connection and the interpretation of that connection is evident through that interaction. It looks like a good time to cocoon for awhile and contemplate the lesson.

How about you? Do you ever see messages in nature? Do your totems speak to you like this or in another way? Post a comment or send me a message. I'd love to hear your story.

Sláinte! *





*Sláinte (pronounced SLAWN-shuh) means "to your good health" or as a general greeting/closing.

Good-bye Dauntless- Hello Artfulness :)

2015: The Year of Living Dauntlessly was a pretty darned good year. I chose to live by a theme, rather than set goals, and it really changed how I approached situations and life in general. Whenever I'd start to feel down, or upset by a challenge presented to me, I remembered my theme, and behaved accordingly. I also put my own twist on the jar idea; the one where you get a jar, put all of the good things that happened to you in it, and review at the end of the year.

I chose to write down each time I acted in accordance with my theme, instead. Then, I discovered that one of my friends, Sharon Rawson of Touch of the Goddess, makes jars- really PRETTY jars. So, I asked her if she would make me one. She did such a beautiful job on my "Dauntless" jar, that in November of 2015, I asked if she would make me a new one for this year's theme: The Year of Living Artfully. It's just as beautiful and creative as her first one. I only have one regret: I wish I had thought of this years ago.

How cool to have a beautiful collection of themed jars with your accomplishments for each inside! I suppose I'll have to stick around on this plane long enough to collect a few.. of course, this means that you, Sharon, have to do the same, sorry ;)

I've already begun the year by ordering some beautiful 2016 calendars with art and wisdom. One is already up in my home office. It features the artwork of Nicholas Kirsten Honshin, whose work is simply breathtaking. The other will go with me to work on Monday, and contains beautiful nature photography and the wisdom of Pema Chodron.

This weekend, I'll be working on creating a new site, now that I actually have my domain back (kallankennedy.com), and a new pinterest board with artful things I either like or want to try.  I'm already excited about exploring what it means to live an artful life.  I hope you'll check in with me occasionally to join in on this adventure.

How about you? What are your plans for this next year?

May your 2016 be filled with the blessings of peace, joy, adventure, good health and harmony.

Sláinte!

Monday Meditation: Whose purpose is served?

The Eagle and the Jackdaw
Aesop's Fables (Translated by George Fyler Townsend)


An Eagle, flying down from his perch on a lofty rock, seized upon a lamb and carried him aloft in his talons. A Jackdaw, who witnessed the capture of the lamb, was stirred with envy and determined to emulate the strength and flight of the Eagle. He flew around with a great whir of his wings and settled upon a large ram, with the intention of carrying him off, but his claws became entangled in the ram's fleece and he was not able to release himself, although he fluttered with his feathers as much as he could. The shepherd, seeing what had happened, ran up and caught him. He at once clipped the Jackdaw's wings, and taking him home at night, gave him to his children. On their saying, "Father, what kind of bird is it?' he replied, "To my certain knowledge he is a Daw; but he would like you to think an Eagle."

Eagles and Jackdaws both have a purpose in the world, but they have very little in common, other than both being birds. Eagles are large birds of prey that are considered to be apex predators in the world. Jackdaws are small members of the corvid family that feed mostly on invertebrates.

In Aesop's story, the eagle was serving his purpose and intention. The jackdaw, however, found himself in all kinds of trouble by not fulfilling his own.

First, the jackdaw paid too much attention to the eagle. By wasting his own precious time and energy focused on the eagle's activities, he became jealous and wanted to compete with the eagle. He wanted to take that eagle down a notch- prove that this eagle wasn't "all that."

With this kind of intention, the jackdaw immediately set himself on a course of self-destruction. He quickly discovered that he could not beat the eagle by trying to "BE" the eagle. He ended up entangled in a mess, and, to add insult to injury, the eagle wasn't even paying attention to him. The eagle was already long gone.

In the end, the jackdaw lost his freedom both to fly and to live as intended; and he suffered the humiliation of having his true intentions exposed and ridiculed by those around him. How much would you be willing to bet that he blames the eagle for his misfortune, as well?

Had the jackdaw simply focused on his own purpose; had he been content with his unique gifts and talents, how much happier would he have been?

If you are an eagle being hounded by a jackdaw, I highly encourage you to ignore those antics. Focus on your goals, and continue to fulfill your purpose. Soar above it all, and keep being you.

If you've found yourself relating to the jackdaw, take heed of his cautionary tale. Don't  look at someone else's life and envy it. You have no idea what their own challenges entail. One thing is for certain- they are naturally equipped to deal with those. They also don't have the natural ability to handle your challenges like you do. The eagle's beak is hooked. It cannot pick up sticks and use them as tools, but a jackdaw can. The eagle misses its prey more often than a jackdaw misses his.

In petty attempts to "take down" someone else by trying to be better at being them than they are, you only thwart yourself. Eventually, that kind of thinking and behavior will take its toll, and it only ends badly for you, not the other person. Most likely, he/she is not even paying attention to you.

Rather than waste your time, energy and self-esteem on futile attempts to be someone you are not, focus instead on the wonderful gifts that you can share with the world. Take to the skies in your unique flight pattern and fulfill the purpose that only you can. As the adage says, "Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."

Our diversity is what makes life special. The eagle is only better in the eyes of the jealous jackdaw.

It's something to consider...

Monday Meditation: The Ant and the Chrysalis

The Ant and the Chrysalis
from Aesop's Fables


An Ant nimbly running about in the sunshine in search of food came across a Chrysalis that was very near its time of change. The Chrysalis moved its tail, and thus attracted the attention of the Ant, who then saw for the first time that it was alive. "Poor, pitiable animal!" cried the Ant disdainfully. "What a sad fate is yours!

While I can run hither and thither, at my pleasure, and, if I wish, ascend the tallest tree, you lie imprisoned here in your shell, with power only to move a joint or two of your scaly tail."

The Chrysalis heard all this, but did not try to make any reply. A few days after, when the Ant passed that way again, nothing but the shell remained. Wondering what had become of its contents, he felt himself suddenly shaded and fanned by the gorgeous wings of a beautiful Butterfly.

"Behold in me," said the Butterfly, "your much-pitied friend! Boast now of your powers to run and climb as long as you can get me to listen." So saying, the Butterfly rose in the air, and, borne along and aloft on the summer breeze, was soon lost to the sight of the Ant forever.

Life is a constant state of flux. . We adapt and change from the moment we are born. As children, we cannot see our daily microscopic growth. It is usually much more pronounced to someone who hasn't seen us in a few weeks, months, etc...  and, as we come to discover later on, those who saw us and judged us from the outside perspective, had no idea who we were going to become later on.

So it is in the spiritual world. Most of us on a spiritual path find ourselves in that state of  change. What I believe and understand today is not the same thing I believed and understood 10 years ago, or 20, or 30. As more information is presented to me, my perspective changes. As I learn more and see things from different angles, I begin to understand that what I thought I knew was the view from one vantage point. I hope that I am growing and changing into something more wise and grounded and authentic each day. I hope the same for you as well.

When others look at us from one small perspective and from one touch-point in a shared span of time, their beliefs about who/what we are have no bearing. Compliment or insult, it does not matter. It is a skewed concept derived from limited information and tainted by their own experiences as well.

What they think of you is none of your business. Whether you like what 'they' are saying or not, it is not a reflection of who you are or what you will be in a moment, a day or a year from now. What matters is that you focus on your purpose, your transformation, and writing your own story-line. How others read it is completely on them.

Aesop's moral: "Appearances are deceptive."  Don't allow others to write your story with their perceptions. Only you know who you are and want to be; and, that's all that matters.

Keep growing :)


Sláinte,
Kallan