Book Review: Blame Your Planet

I received an email a few weeks' back from someone at Red Wheel/Weiser books who asked if I'd like to review some books for them. This opinionated bibliophile is never going to turn down an opportunity to read something new and be able to give her perspective on it! I would like to note that while they are sending me the books to read, they did not ask me to review these in a positive manner or try to influence my opinion (like that could happen!) So far, it's been a joy to work with Red Wheel/Weiser. I have a couple more books that just arrived. This is turning out to be a lot of fun! Ok, now, on to the book.

Blame Your Planet by Stella Hyde

Here's the intro on RW/W:

"Stella Hyde presents a hilarious exposé of the not-so-nice parts of astrological destiny with shocking conclusions supported by complete astrological research for all 12 signs. In Blame Your Planet, she exposes the hidden underside of the stars, and how they affect the dark side of everyone...

... Blame Your Planet covers personalities, rising sign, ruling planet, Moon, qualities, and elements. It also details lifestyle choices (jobs, vacations, fashion, interior design, partners) all from a gripping, yet rarely discussed perspective. Blame Your Planet explores:
Your favorite deadly sin
Your annoying little ways
Your lunar nuisance that cramps your style
Your grimiest thoughts and succulent sex fantasies—in vivid detail
Your Opposite Sign that connects you to those born under it
Your Mr./Ms. Wrong
Your favorite holiday to ruin for everybody
Your dream darkside job—spy, assassin, dictator, drug baron, jewel thief, evil genius
Your darkside sign’s hall of infamy—the famous who share it with you
Fully illustrated, Blame Your Planet reveals the secret evil twin hidden in all of us. Welcome to the dark side."

So, I went into this with the idea that a) it's going to be funny, in a dark way and b) I might have to put aside my Aquarian ego for this one. Bracing myself, I began reading this book. Each of the signs has its own colored pages, and it's well-organized. The Aquarian color is clear blue.

 Above, you'll see the description of the sign, which is how it opens for each of them. She begins with pretty generic, factual information. When you get to the dark side, however, that's a unique description. Frankly, I've been called worse ;)

The next page has some annoying habits (no, you'll have to get the book if you want to know) listed, and then a full sardonic description of the sign's personality. There's even a 'bitch rating' included.

True to the book's name, I can blame all of this on my ruling planet, with a complete explanation, so I'll be prepared the next time someone calls me a 'space cadet.' Moving along, she discusses the dark side of my dark side under "Bad Moon Rising", aka my moon sign. From here, she insults my rising sign as well. We swiftly move into the area of love, and why we Aquarians are better off alone.
She organized the book very well, because at this point, she's agitated me enough that I'm ready to insult her origins, but she then has to educate me on my temper (DAMNIT!). And, then, as if she wasn't astute enough to figure that part out (did I mention she's a Cancer?),

she jumps right into my opposing sign entitled, "Who's Got Your Number?" (um, clearly, Leo isn't the only one. How did she know I adore Darth Vader???)

At this point, if I was offended, I'm now deeply pondering how anyone could possibly figure out my Star Wars addiction as I turn the page to:

That's right. She's talkin' bout SEX baby, she's talkin 'bout... wait, "What kind of love rat are you?" WTF?
"You are unlikely to have a long term partner to dump because you despise clingy dependants just as much as you loathe jealous control freaks"
Well, okay that's true, too. Let's move on, shall we?

Oh fun. Relationships. Let's just say, I ADORE the incompatibility ratings.

We transitioned into "Work" and again, she nailed it, and by nailed it, I mean it was completely off base. I am always early, dress professionally, and brag like hell on those self-assessment forms, thank you very much. I did garner some interesting tips insights into what kind of criminal I might be, though.

At home- HATE the color palette. She clearly has not known many Aquarians. If she saw the boho-Pagan look(slikeDisneythrewup) to my bedroom, she'd think again.

Playtime (the dark side of fun)- nowhere else is her hatred for my sign more prevalent than here. It's okay. I'm too eccentric to care that she thinks I like being eccentric.

Finally, we ended this torturous affair with the typical famous people section, which she entitles "Bad company- your hall of infamy".

Once I was able to justify see that she just completely misunderstood my sign, I could then explore the other signs in the book.  She was SPOT(F'ing) ON with all the rest of you.

At the back of the book, there are some really cool extras that help even the most novice among us to discover what the hell she is talking about (aka, yes, she really IS insulting you).

All in all, this was a really fun read. This author clearly enjoyed writing this book, and it shows. This is an enthusiastically tongue-in-cheek look at the astrological signs through the lens of a comical cynic. Those of you who enjoy dark humor and astrology, absolutely must have a read.

You can pick it up here at Red Wheel/Weiser.

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