My friend and fellow writer for Imramma, Michele Warch is assisting me in addressing the flip side of that coin (Thank you, Michele!!). In other words, what happens if you get to the point where you really need to quit? This isn't growing corn for you. You feel as if you're beating your head against a brick wall, and you are not, I repeat, NOT having fun. Is it still time to persevere.. to push through?
Michele shares her perspective:
Americans are brought up in a culture that says, “GO. DO. Anything is possible. The sky’s the limit.” The reverse connotation of these beliefs, of course, is: If you fail, it’s your own damned fault. You didn’t try hard enough. You don’t have what it takes. You ARE a failure.
Perseverance is a vitally important skill. There’s no argument to that. However, the wisdom to recognize when something is not beneficial for us is equally valuable. How many times have you trudged through to the end of a project which had become meaningless to you because you just had to FINISH it? The only joy you feel is half-hearted relief that it’s finally over. Or, worse, have you ever doggedly run toward a goal, knowing that it would create a revolutionary change in your life to have the anticlimactic ending fall flat?
I would argue that a bit of sage consideration could illuminate these situations. Being a culture of doers, we are whole-heartedly behind the planning and action process. What we neglect is the pre-planning – the pre-contemplation and contemplation stages of change.
It is in this time that we ask ourselves the following questions:
1. What do I hope to solve by following this course of action? What’s the goal?
2. What likely benefits AND consequences will occur if I do this?
3. What is likely to really be accomplished? Is that the same as my goal?
4. What is my motivation? Why do I want to do this? What do I hope to receive from it?
5. How likely am I to succeed/fail? What is likely to get in my way?
6. Who else will be affected? How?
And, the evaluation process doesn’t end when the action process begins. KEEP asking yourself these questions, along with:
1. Is this process healthy for me? Am I benefitting from it?
2. Who else is impacted? How? Am I causing benefit to them? Injury?
If the answers to these questions do not make you feel good about what you’re doing, it may be time to consider a different path. You are NOT a failure if you abandon a failing path. You are a sage.
Michele L. Warch, MCC, is a priestess in a goddess-oriented path, a teacher, writer, blogger, gardener, grandmother, metaphysical practitioner, oneirocritic, ecofeminist, and occasional unicorn. She lives in the Mid-Atlantic region of the USA where she is employed in adult education after 20+ years in the social work field.
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Tough to let go of that persevere attitude! Thanks for sharing the reasons why it doesn't always work!
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